Sing to new Music
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The office-turned sewing room is dim and quiet. Bits of fabric and thread are still scattered across the floor. Unfinished projects are stacked up waiting their turn at the sewing machine. The music from the children’s sound machine floats over through the hallway. Everything is still in the house but the ticking clock and my fingers tapping the keys.
More than anything I want to be flopped on top of the faux-quilted blanket on my bed and dive back into my book. But here I am, making a right choice. I can’t even tell you how much discipline it took. It makes me feel so very soft and broken. Which I am, and I am not ashamed of the journey God has me on. I’ve been getting used to being extra kind to myself the past couple of weeks. After nearly collapsing with adrenal fatigue I took drastic measures to change my lifestyle and health. This includes a lot of self-care and low stress days.
My physical health, mental health and spiritual health are improving by leaps and bounds. I want to somehow remember to continue making the healthy choices I’ve had to make even after my energy and drive come back.
But I have noticed the past few days this nasty little voice in my head, whom I will call Sam. Sam has become very skilled at making healthy motivation look like “too much stress for me to handle”, and hence, an ugly squishy green blob of excuses drip down over my hair and off the end of my nose like a cracked rotten egg.
-When I need to get off my butt and get some exercise, Sam tells me that I just don’t need the added stimulation and I need to slow down.
-When I need to plan meals for my family, Sam tells me that this is my season of rest and it’s ok to feed them cereal and PB bread for the 7th time today.
-When I need to get up early to read my Bible or get my husband coffee, Sam tells me that the only way to get better is to sleep in.
-When I need to make healthy eating choices Sam tells me that I’ve been obsessed with diets too long and it hasn’t worked so it’s ok to just eat whatever I want (even if it’s the 4th cream pie today)
Let me call it like it is. These are all excuses!
It has everything to do with creating healthy habits. Sometimes we do need to sit back and not overthink everything. I know I had become addicted to to-do lists and they ruled my life. I did need to dial back my workout, I did need to rethink my overachieving meal plans, I did need to get more sleep, I did need to stop with all the diets! BUT, I can not use the old negative habits to excuse me from creating new healthy habits in their place.
I’m becoming unmotivated and undisciplined and chubby.
I will take dominion over my health, my choices and my day. I am not a victim. Chapter 3 in the book Womanly Dominion by Mark Chanski has greatly inspired me to move forward and not get stagnant in my season of rest and healing. But to take charge of it and flourish.
So when Sam whispers his silky voice in my ear that sounds so close to the truth but is oh-so-much a lie, here will be my knee-jerk response:
-Physical exercise is healthy for the body, soul and mind. I have made a habit to walk or ride bike every day
-Healthy meals are essential for healthy bodies and minds. I have made a habit to plan ahead and have an easy menu in place for the week
-Sleep is vital for healing and energy. I have made a habit to go to bed early so I can get up early.
-Eating food is not about weight or body image. It’s about nourishing our bodies and my body is not a trash can. I have made a habit to always get balanced, healthy food in my day.
This quote from "Before they were Yours" by Lisa Wingate is so beautiful and has inspired me to sing a different song: “A woman’s past need not predict her future. She can dance to new music if she chooses. Her own music. To hear the tune, she must only stop talking. To herself, I mean. We’re always trying to persuade ourselves of things.”
I believe not only do we need to let God heal our past and live from our hearts, but allow God to put a new song in our hearts and let freedom ring.
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